Happy Fish Water: A Timeline of Bad Decisions

This didn’t start as a brand. It started with a thrift store rack full of funny t-shirts from the 1980s — the kind of weird novelty shirts that made people stop and say, “What the hell?” I liked that. The awkward laughs. The offended eyebrows. The fact that someone, somewhere, printed that thing on purpose. That’s when I knew I was into it.

Then came bands. Music. Broke-ass merch tables. So I learned to screen print. I made shirts for the band. Then for other people. Then for money. In 2010, I opened a custom screen printing shop in Seattle — but in between client jobs, I started printing shirts that absolutely no one asked for. Stuff that felt more like a cry for help than a product. Naturally, those sold.

I’d drop my worst ideas in local consignment shops. Things like “Charles Darwin Doesn’t Believe in Evolution” or “This Narwhal Eats Mad Pussy.” Before meme culture took over the planet, I was already making offensive meme shirts that got me side-eyes and sales in equal measure. These were inappropriate t-shirts that existed only to be regretted.

Then a friend brought back a suitcase full of messed-up shirts from Japan — broken English, bad translations, visuals that made zero sense. It was art. That moment rewired my brain. I realized the magic of a shirt that’s offensive, weird, wrong, and somehow still... wearable.

I paused the idea for a while — had other stuff to do — but it kept tapping me on the shoulder. Like, hey, remember that hoodie that said “Goddamn My Balls Itch” with Jesus on the cross? You should be doing that full time.

So I did.

Happy Fish Water was born for one reason: to make the worst adult humor t-shirts, offensive meme hoodies, and unhinged garbage apparel on the internet — intentionally. It’s not about looking good. It’s about committing to the bit so hard you ruin family functions.

This isn’t a brand for everyone. It’s for people who still laugh at things they shouldn’t. For the weirdos, the regrettable, the chronically online. If you’ve ever seen a shirt and thought, “God, that’s awful — I need it,” you’re home.

Welcome to Happy Fish Water. The shirts are stupid. The jokes are worse. And somehow, people keep coming back.